EFT Answers – The Unfeeling Client

In this article, I answer an EFT supervision question from a student. And that is, how should one have proceeded with my client for her fear of flying Tell The Story technique, seeing as she could not feel anything above 0?

Well, occasionally, you will get someone who cannot imagine themselves in the situation. There are a number of ways to deal with it.

The first thing I would try is to bring up those feelings in a way normally reserved for testing. I would not normally advocate going to the testing part of the session without releasing the trauma first, but in this case, she is not feeling it. So, I would ask her to tell the story of the flight all the way through, whilst I take notes about every part. Notice body language and voice for any emotion. If there is a part where she seemed more emotional than flat, mark that part on your notes. When she has finished telling the story, ask her to close her eyes. With her eyes closed, read out the story to her in great detail, really going into detail at that most intense part, asking her to note for example the smell of food or drink on the plane, how the seat felt, whether she was wearing a seatbelt or not, what film she was watching or what she was looking at, the voice of the pilot as he or she announced a danger; in other words, sight, sound, and feeling. Then ask her as she is reliving that, where 10 is scared and 0 is calm, what number is she feeling. If anything above a zero, even if a 2 or a 1, you can ask her to open her eyes (so she can see you tapping), and then you can tap on it till 0. If her body language or voice do not give an indication of what part was worst for her, ask her what part was worst, and then take her through it as above.

If the above produces total calm from the start (the non-feeling client presentation), then you can use a validity of cognition statement. For example, you can ask her how true the following statement feels, where 10 is totally true and 0 is false: “Flying is always dangerous.” Take your time to explain first that you know that logically, she knows that flying is not dangerous, but you want to hear what that emotional voice at the back of her head is saying, not her logical head. Chances are that she will find that emotional voice and give you a number above zero. Then you can go through the story as above, only this time, go through every part of the story and tap on each part twice before moving on, without numbers. When you finish, ask her again how true the above statement is, and chances are that it may have reduced a little.

Detective work for the real issue may be needed. It may be that you are barking up the wrong tree. Maybe she cannot connect to the flying feeling but can connect for example, to a fear of death, claustrophobia, or anything else that makes her generally anxious but has nothing to do with flying. The fear of death could be connected to an incomplete grieving of a loved one, claustrophobia could be connected to a time when she was accidentally locked in a cupboard, just to give two of very many examples of each. That can be tapped on instead. This also has the advantage of helping her understand how a session can proceed, so she gets more into her feelings later about flights.

I hope this helps.

Source by Suzanne Zacharia

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